my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
