I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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