Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
third nipple confirmed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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