didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
