O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
my poor anus
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
