Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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