so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Alive.
So much puke
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
