My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
