Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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