I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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