I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
