So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize