what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
