I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
