At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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