I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
