90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
