I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
