this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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