The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
