I wish I could teleport
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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