Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
