Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize