I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's never too late to be topless.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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