Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
operation harelip BJ is a go
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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