the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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