I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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