i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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