i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this boner is exhausting
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
