If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
