I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
did i walk over a car last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
