Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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