It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
