You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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