i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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