Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
