two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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