guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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