my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
