drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
