umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
