a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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