I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
