it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
