The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
