More tranny stories later!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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