Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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