you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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