How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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