Don't make out with my wife yet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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