if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
