I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
