We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
