exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize