I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
