I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
