i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
