You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
