FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
