Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am spending my child support on dildos
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
