did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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