Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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