He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
