So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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