so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
