I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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