The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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