i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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