Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
