party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
