dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
