woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
