everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
