I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
