i wish my penis had a tongue
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
