She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
