At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
